Rethinking Esteem

Recently when a married pair of celebrity athletes was pulled over for suspected drunk driving, TMZ reported that they “were trying to play the dreaded, ‘Don't you know who we are?’ card.”

Because the question “Don’t you know who I am?” has been so abused, we seldom ask it of ourselves as a reminder of who we are in God—even during the times when we could sorely use the reminder.

Two quotes from different sides of the self-esteem coin illustrate why this is important.

“There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness and generosity” says Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian-American writer who was known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem.

On the other side of the coin, John Maxwell comments, “Leaders who are kind of insecure or egocentric, they basically sabotage themselves.”

But some of us have used a verse written by Paul in Romans—“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought”—to walk in false (or perhaps misguided) humility. We think that behaving in a way that appeases others, avoids the spotlight or keeps quiet about our successes classifies us as humble.

Appeasing others leads to a false peace (because conflict still hasn’t been resolved). Avoiding the spotlight deprives us of the opportunity to give God glory (“let your light shine so that men will see your good deeds and glorify your Father”). And keeping quiet silences the testimony we’ve received through God for the benefit of ourselves and others.

While we shouldn’t think of ourselves more highly than we ought, we should think of ourselves the way God thinks of us. As Paul also says in Romans, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith… if it is to lead, do it diligently…”

Those of us who’ve been called to lead will lead best when we walk in the fullness of the calling and the gifting God has given us.

Don’t you know who you are?

“You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.” – Marianne Williamson